This story is dedicated to my vocal coach, Kimberly.
Click the blue link below to play my song:
HANG ON #2-12/12/13 Copyright 2013 by Judy Unger
This is a page of my lyrics “in progress.”
LINK TO PART 1 OF THIS STORY:
-
HANG ON
It feels so dark; the sky is gray
Nothing to live for, you cannot pray
You have no hope; is this the end?
Just take my hand; I’ll be your friend
I’ve been there, too – I must explain
Because I’ve suffered I feel your pain
You don’t know how you will survive
You even wonder why you’re alive
Hang on; love is never gone
Though it feels like night
Let love shine a light
One day, your pain will go away
Love will lift you up
Love will always stay
You are broken; you need a sign
There’s so much pain and it’s not mine
You’re without hope; it’s crushed your soul
There was no reason and no control
Hang on; strength can be drawn
Though you are numb
Do not succumb
One day, your pain will go away
Love will lift you up
Love will always stay
My wish for you is no more pain
Then just love would remain
Hang on for a day will dawn
Different than before
But you’ll smile once more
On that day, your pain has gone away
Love lifted you up
Love will always stay
Hang on . . . hang on . . . hang on . . .-
Blue flowers? I wanted to adorn this story with images that had unusual colors. Love is beautiful and lives on. But there is no beauty when a soul is amputated. It is ugliness beyond description.
Two months ago, I began arranging my song “Hang On” for a second time. While I was working on this song, my mother’s health took a turn for the worse.
Two weeks before she died, I felt it was no accident that I was living through “Hang On.” My song definitely helped me cope. I imagined that “Judy of the Future” was singing my song to me.
I listened carefully and fully appreciated the words of, “One day your pain will go away.”
When I created this image while my mother was dying, I did not notice that the patterns on the wings resembled skulls.
A year ago, I began taking lessons with Kimberly Haynes. There was no question that working with Kimberly had a huge impact upon my singing ability. I was astonished by my improvement.
My voice really changed and I felt compelled to redo all of my song vocals. For a year now, that has been my focus.
Learning about singing and vocal editing was wonderful, but tiring. At the age of 54, sometimes reality sets in and I’m not sure that my voice is good enough for my songs.
I made the decision not long ago to hire Kimberly to sing this new version of Hang On. Sadly, our recording session was cancelled when she received awful news that her husband’s cancer had returned.
I had a lesson with her not long after that. The strain upon her was evident.
-
At the same time that Kimberly was meeting me to record my song at Darrin’s recording studio, we were going to practice other songs for an upcoming performance. My donation to Kulak’s Woodshed enabled me to book shows there.
-
Kimberly was determined that she could still perform with me. I know her intention was that it would be a wonderful opportunity for family and friends to come out and support her during this incredibly difficult time.
-
I designed a flier for her performance, which is above. What was interesting was my choice of image for the background. I liked a photo I had of an ocean with a setting sun. The irony was that I began this story with an image I have often used before for Hang On. That also incorporated a setting sun over an ocean.
For me, the darkness of an ocean with a setting sun is a metaphor for grief. The blackness reminds me of my own endless depth of pain after my child died. Floating through the waves and the current of time was also part of a parable I wrote to describe my grief journey. I named that poem “My Tears Filled an Ocean” and here is a link to it:
#142 BESIDE ME ALWAYS – PART 2
There was no question that Kimberly was starting a torturous journey through awful waves of dread.) I did not design her flier with those thoughts in mind.)
I sent the filer to her and she was gracious and appreciative. She did tell me that she wasn’t used to seeing her face so “large.” I let her know her large face was amazing and beautiful!
-
A little over a week ago, she sent me a message saying it would be best to cancel her performance.
Someday, I was certain Kimberly would sing a vocal for one of my songs. But it would be in the future far from now and I was not going to mention it. Perhaps this particular song would be too hard.
Below is a link to her blog where every entry is painful to read:
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/kimberlyhaynes
So I dedicate my song to Kimberly, whom I deeply love and care about. I dedicate my song to all of her family. I especially include Brian’s mother. My heart breaks for his mother who has already suffered the loss of another son years ago.
