This link goes to a song story page with lyrics, performances, stories and other recordings for my song: SOMEONE TO LOVE YOU
I would be less than honest if I didn’t admit that I’ve been struggling since breaking my ankle this past summer.
Although it might have seemed ideal to write a song while I was recovering, my creative energy wasn’t there. I understand that better now since joining an ankle support group online. Many people wrote about their brain fog and exhaustion while healing; it was very common and expecting more was unrealistic.
The ordeal of being totally sedentary and home bound for three months is over, yet the feelings around it continue to cloud over me. I have many things to celebrate, but sometimes I feel depressed.
I last wrote after visiting my oldest son for the Thanksgiving holiday. Since then, I caught a chest cold twice and it left me with an annoying cough. This definitely had me dragging.
Recently, someone asked me how I was – outside of my “maladies.” Initially, that was actually a tough question for me to answer. I wasn’t feeling too great. But then the answer came: I was doing great because my children were doing so well. They were all growing in wonderful ways.
Almost everything I do besides music, relates to them. Even though they are adults, they are deeply integral to my life. I believe that losing my first-born child has given me an even deeper appreciation for my living children. I consider all three of them to be miracles.
My youngest son lives with me and we are very close (I respect his privacy and can’t share anything about him).
My oldest son lives in Las Vegas and is a first grade teacher. We speak almost every day. I am leaving tomorrow to visit him again. The first night I’m there, he told me he is thrilled that I can keep him company while he finishes getting grading done. I’m glad I can be supportive and look forward to making him his favorite egg salad.
Currently, my 26-year-old daughter lives about 30 minutes away from where I am. She always calls me when she finishes work and is walking to her car at night. We usually see each other once a week.
This post is about my song “Someone to Love You,” which expresses the deep love I have for my children.
I composed my song five years ago. Recently, when I was listening to an older recording, the beautiful chords felt very rushed. I decided my song would benefit from a slower tempo so the guitar finger picking could be appreciated. It was time for me to pull out my guitar mics.
Even though I was hacking with my cough while playing, the slower pace was lovely. After a coughing fit, I just continued recording. The important part was to stay in the same position when I started up again.
When I finished editing the lower guitar tracks, I recorded another, higher guitar part. Then I asked my piano arranger to add something, although my older piano version was also sweet. I loved them both and had two versions for my new arrangement.
Now it was time for me to sing again, despite my cough. I recorded vocals and it was healing for me. Below, I share some other instrumental versions of my song that I will eventually share on Insight Timer.
Finding the blessings in my life isn’t hard when I look for them. My children are my treasures and I celebrate how they are all thriving. I went through so many struggles with them while they were growing up. Now I am reaping amazing rewards.
In only a few months, my daughter is moving away to another state. Our visits now have a sense of poignancy that signal change is coming. Although I will certainly visit her, we won’t be hanging out weekly as we have been doing.
Both of us are feeling sadness about it, although I am very excited for her courage. She is willing to face the unknown, to travel out of state to Colorado and start a new life there with her boyfriend. Her joy at having a loving partner is beautiful to behold and exactly what my song wishes for.
Our relationship has changed so much in the past two years. I am better able to express myself to her and we have discussed our past conflicts to gain understanding. She is very loving and kind.
When I broke my ankle, she was traumatized by the experience and recently was able to overcome her own fear about hiking in the same area where I fell. When I have another surgery this summer, I will miss having her there with me.
Recently, we had an especially lovely visit – we had taken a nice walk, gone to a nearby café and watched a movie at her apartment. It was late and after hugging goodbye, I got into my car to drive home.
“Someone To Love You” began playing and tears filled my eyes. It was the perfect song for me to hear at that moment.
Life becomes a fairy tale when I allow my music to penetrate. I shared the picture of myself as a young girl for that reason. My eyes are shining with excitement for life and innocence. There is so much for me to discover.
My song reminds me that I am still that child inside. The melody embodies my wonderment and passion. My parents in heaven are speaking to me and I can feel their love.
Perhaps it wasn’t about finding someone to love me, after all. I could be sad because enduring love wasn’t in the cards for me romantically. However, I found love in many other ways.
Beyond the love I have for my children, I am practicing self-love. My devotion to following my passion is a gift I have given myself.
My insights help me overcome sadness over the physical issues I’ve been dealing with. Once my daughter is settled in Colorado, I can’t wait to visit her and explore the gorgeous outdoors. Just like my song lyrics, I look forward to traveling to places I’ve never been.
Despite some tough setbacks, I am overjoyed that my songs and words have comforted and touched so many people.
I have found my way home because of music.
The love in my heart takes me there.
