My daughter took this picture of me last week. My “remedy” was to take a trip to Big Bear Lake for a few days.
In June, I was filmed and recorded by Remedy Health Media for a 3 ½ minute inspirational video related to how I’ve coped with dry eyes. I really enjoyed the experience.
I received a copy of the video, but was told not to share it publicly. The video will be posted on Remedy’s website very soon – in early September.
When I watched the video for the first time, I thought that some of my words sounded cut. Even though I was slightly self-conscious about my appearance, I had to admit that wearing makeup really was kind of stylish for me.
With further viewings, I definitely appreciated how inspirational the video was. The story told in those few minutes was more about how music saved me, not so much about my struggle with dry eyes.
My interview for that video lasted well over an hour so a lot of information wasn’t shared. I actually requested and received the entire audio interview. Next month, I plan to create a YouTube channel where more of the recordings can be heard along with a link to see the video once it’s officially published.
In this picture, Joni and I are sitting in front of the apartment she grew up in. It is in the same complex where I’m currently living.
I think one of the most beautiful parts of the filming was sharing that day with my childhood friend, Joni. We’ve known each other all our lives and her participation really enhanced my story.
It’s been over a month since I’ve written for my blog. I can admit that I’ve been struggling a bit. Since 2010, I’ve intimately shared my life’s journey and it’s been hard for me to feel so removed from expressing my honest feelings.
I’ve had some frustrating health issues. When I received the audio from Remedy, I listened to my own words about how I’ve dealt with life’s challenges. I found them very inspirational and applicable to my current situation.
I share below a summary of some of my favorite concepts. They are the remedies that help me cope.
1. Words and thoughts affect how I feel.
2. “Temporary” is a great word to get me through tough times. It reminds me that it won’t always be this way.
3. “The more you look for something, the more chance that you will find it.” That line reminds me to look for good things, instead of painful things.
4. I have experienced healing from terrible things in my past. That reminds me that I can get through any current challenges. If I’ve done it before, I can do it again.
5. I can choose to focus on what I “can do,” rather than what I “can’t do.”
6. I search for ways to turn awful things into something beautiful (or humorous).
7. Love is my key. I remind myself to extend oodles of love and compassion towards myself. I miss my parents and even though they are gone, I remember their love and imagine them cheering me on.
To further facilitate my sharing and update everyone, I am using a “good list/bad list” format.
BAD LIST:
I had a cold two months ago. A lingering cough from it has not gone away.
My youngest son screamed when he stepped on a dead rat in our kitchen 4 months ago. Not long after that, I found out there was a rodent problem in our entire coop complex. A company was hired to come out and set traps.
My oldest son is a vegetarian and killed a rat to end it’s suffering (it was caught by a trap in our kitchen). He was traumatized by the experience and has had trouble sleeping because of it.
A month ago, our house developed a horrible stench. I called the exterminator to help us locate the dead rat. It was behind the refrigerator and covered with maggots. I have never been so revolted in my life.
Humor:
I think my cleaning lady is ready to quit. Cleaning rodent poop from kitchen drawers wasn’t part of her job description.
When a friend of mine said, “Rats!” during a conversation – I redirected her.
I no longer think Mickey Mouse is cute.
When I hear the line, “Smells like a rat!” my nose automatically wrinkles.
In July, I began working with a naturopathic doctor. She was concerned about the fact that I was taking so many Tums for heartburn. I am scheduled for an endoscopy in a few weeks to assess if I have any damage to my esophagus. I believe this problem is contributing to my cough.
I’ve met with this doctor twice and have been adopting a long list of interesting remedies. She recommended an air purifier, which I ordered yesterday. She told me to give up swimming in chlorinated pools and I’ve missed swimming very much.
This past week, I went away for two nights to the mountains to escape. My youngest son came along with me and my daughter visited for one night. While on my get-away, my oldest son sent me the following text message:
The night I returned, I heard noises in my closet. I felt like I was living inside a horror movie. I threw open the closet door, heard a scamper and then went back to bed with my heart pounding. Thoughts of bubonic plague crossed my mind and weren’t helpful for me.
I’ve been making a lot of calls the last few days related to fixing this problem.
I am still unable to sing without coughing and that has been very hard for me.
GOOD LIST:
Since working with the ND (naturopathic doctor), my eyes have improved. They are not cured, but are significantly better. I bathe them in coconut oil for two minutes before I go to bed at night.
Since working with the ND, I haven’t had any further outbreaks of hives. I’m not experiencing the painful leg cramps that I was getting almost every day.
I have discovered online Scrabble and am enjoying it.
I’ve released two acoustic CD’s on CD Baby and will have a release party when I feel better.
On my recent get-away to the mountains, I was elated that my youngest son and daughter were so nice to each other. When they were growing up, it would be an understatement to say they didn’t get along. This trip reminded me how even that was temporary!
I cried when the Coop President told me that the building would cover the cost of repairing my air ducts, which very likely are contaminated with rat feces. I pictured my father (who was very involved with the Coop when he was alive) crying with me.
I’m grateful for my wonderful vocal coach, Hannah. I’ve cancelled several voice lessons because of my condition. I cried a lot with her last week when I took a lesson in spite of my cough.
Even though it’s hard for me to sing, I have performed anyway. I’ve coughed during some performances, although one time I managed to hold my cough back. To alleviate stress about singing, I’ve performed guitar instrumentals on two occasions. I share them at the end of this post.
I am determined to stay positive even though I am stumbling through my days and depressed a lot of the time. I will sing again. I will.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IbgudJUvGoE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kwVaswynZZo
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