Looking for light in the darkness, is a recurring theme in many of my songs. I share one of my ideas for a soon-to-be released album of mine.
In 2010, I began this blog as a way to express my feelings. I had no experience with blogging, and taught myself how to do things as I went along. Last week, I decided to try something new. I signed up for a free course that was offered through WordPress called “Blogging University 101.”
Assignments were given by email everyday. Learning new things turned out to be fun and interacting with other bloggers was stimulating for me.
One of the first assignments was to change the template or “theme” for my blog. I took the plunge and played around with a different look. The theme that I had used for five years was no longer available – so once I made the change there was no going back.
I chose a custom upgrade, which means I can now add video to my blog.
Yesterday, I was given an assignment to comment on five new blogs.
Today, the assignment was to write more in depth about any of those comments. I’m actually going to address two of my comments.
My first comment was written after reading the poem below, which can be found at this link: http://memorybearsbybonnie.wordpress.com/2016/01/13/when-does-grieving-end/
My comment:
Beautiful words! I lost my young son many years ago. I do believe the intense pain of grief isn’t forever – I am able to live with joy again. This doesn’t mean I love my son any less. For me, I think healing is a sign of love, too.
It represents what I know my son wants for me. Your poem is very thought provoking. And certainly, the last thing someone needs while grieving is judgment from others that it’s time to end!
The poem I commented on addressed the pressure put upon people grieving to “get over it.”
I do think that many people are uncomfortable with grief. A good friend or family member truly has good intentions in wishing someone’s grief could be over.
For me, grief was a personal journey and the entire process certainly held no timetable. Support, understanding and compassion were what I needed most from family and friends. To this day, my sister-in-law and brother send me a card every year on the anniversary of Jason’s birth and death. And it has been 23 years.
I am grateful that the pain of grief did not last forever. I didn’t “get over grief” because it was time. I simply had the realization that I could see grief differently and healing was a beautiful way to honor what I had loved and lost. It was music and writing that gave me this insight after many years of sadness.
The feeling that my loved ones want me to heal, rather than suffer, inspired my song “In Every Smile.”
I wrote that song to tell my children that when I die someday, I want them to continue to smile. Of course it was okay for them to cry, but I hoped that laughter and love would lift them up. When I sing “In Every Smile,” I also hear my parents and Jason speaking to me with those same words.
And at the end of this post, I share a video performance of that song. It will be my first video embedded on my blog!
My second comment was to Dee and here’s a link to her post: http://deeincollingo.com/2016/01/09/huffpost-blogger-me/
Dee had one of her posts about grief published on the Huffington Post. But even with this great honor, she confided how she felt very vulnerable.
I read her published article; it was well written and very helpful for anyone wanting to understand more about grief.
My comment:
There is so much ignorance about grief and your beautiful article was illuminating and well written. I am so sorry for your loss, but very inspired to see what you have gone on to express in your writing. It’s been many years since my son died, and I feel him with me always. Angels are our shining light through life. Amy is proud of you.
Her reply:
Judy, thank you so much for your comment. It made me cry as I earnestly try to embrace Amy’s continued light. I am so sorry for your loss.
“Loss left me in horrific darkness. My love became the light that saved me”
In honor of Dee’s words, I decided to name my post: “Let My Light Surround You.” Those words are lyrics from my song “In Every Smile.”
For many years, I carried deep heartache and an intense physical longing to hold my beautiful child again. I grieved differently for my parents, but still longed to hear their voices and hug them again, too.
Memories were both sustaining and painful. It was almost impossible for me to accept that my child was gone forever. It was easier to accept with my parents, since I watched them suffer so much and they had lived full lives.
Light was a metaphor, which comforted me. Feeling “light” dispelled the heavy darkness. Light represented warmth, direction and most of all love.
Other stories related to this theme:
IN EVERY SMILE ACOUSTIC-1/9/16 Copyright 2015 by Judy Unger
SEE ME IN EVERY SMILE
Copyright 2015 by Judy Unger
–
One day I’ll be gone but love cannot leave
I’ll be right there beside you, can you believe?
if you’re crying ‘cause you miss me
and feel you’ve lost your way
You know what I’d say . . .
–
See me in every smile
it’s okay to cry awhile
But smiling can lift you up
Feel me with love you share
in your heart I’m there
I’m not really gone when my love lives on
–
Remember the warmth, your heart next to mine
I’ll still be hugging you in warm sunshine
When storm clouds overtake you
and everything seems gray
You know what I’d say . . .
–
You might be scared and think you’re alone
Let my light surround you, the love you’ve known
From the moment I first held you until I had to go,
I hope you know
–
You’ll see me in every smile
it’s okay to cry awhile
But my love can lift you up
Feel me with love you share; in your heart I’m there
I’m not really gone when my love lives on
When my love lives on
© 2016 by Judy Unger and http://www.myjourneysinsight.com. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Judy Unger with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
